It's helpful when I'm in places where I have to make choices. By far, the most difficult context of gut-wrenching and gut-testing, is in the wilderness. I've spent my fair share of time wandering around in the wilderness. The worst part about wandering in the wilderness is when people are following. Why? Because human beings don't like the wilderness. And, coupled with a distaste for the wilderness, people don't like a wandering leader. When the two are combined, it no fun being out front.
Full disclosure: I've never really struggled with the wilderness part. I'm fine to be led to difficult places by the Spirit. But when I'm led there, and I have people following me. It's downright hard.
The hard part is that people start wondering if I know where I'm leading. It doesn't happen right away. But as time goes by and the wilderness closes in. The voice of the Spirit starts getting drown out by the questions of well meaning people: "why are we still in the wilderness?" "where are we going?" "who can we blame for this?"
And then it starts to happen. My confidence melts. I question my instincts. I second guess my calling. I replace the God who led me into the wilderness with the people that have followed me there. That's when it happens. I stop trusting my gut.
Lately, I've started trusting my gut again. And I've found peace. And home really. In the wilderness.
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