Love must be sincere

Romans 12:9 is clear: love must be sincere. But it's easier said than done.

Thomas Merton linked sincerity and love in his book, No Man Is an Island. He writes: 

If my will acts as the servant of the truth, consecrating my whole soul to what the intelligence has seen, then I will be sanctified by the truth. I will be sincere. ‘My whole body will be lightsome’ (Matt 6:22). But if my will takes possession of truth as its master, as if the truth were my servant, as if it belonged to me by right of conquest, then I will take it for granted that I can do with it whatever I please. This is the root of all falsity. …In the end, the problem of sincerity is a problem of love… And the secret of sincerity is, therefore, not to be sought in a philosophical love for abstract truth but in a love for real people and real things—a love for God apprehended in the reality around us. (Merton, 197-198).

Sincere love is expressed in the relationships we have with others. It includes arresting direct lies, about things we have or have not done, but also goes beyond by addressing the things we tell ourselves and others. If my will acts as, what Merton calls, "a servant of the truth" then I'm not spinning stories or speaking niceties just so I look better in the eyes of others. I should be self-aware enough to name the truth, even if it leaves me looking weak or incompetent. 

I had a colleague friend stop and ask me a few weeks ago, "How are you?" Normally, I'd say "doing well!" or something like that. But that day was different. I responded honestly and said, "I'm not doing very well." That led to an exchange about some things that I was wrestling with. He didn't laugh or judge but did something surprising; he opened up about his life too. 

Loving and being loved start with sincerity. After "Love must be sincere", Romans 12:9-10 goes on to say, "Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love." That kind of love for others and with others only comes from truth, honesty, and sincerity.  

 

Man's Search for Meaning

I picked up Viktor Frankl's, Man's Search for Meaning, a moving account of his time as a prisoner in Auschwitz. He provides remarkable and vivid accounts of the brutalities as well as some glimpses of the beauty of humanity he encountered.

Two of his ideas have embedded themselves in my thoughts: humans have the freedom to choose their responses to every situation; and love provides the ultimate hope in the midst of suffering. 

The first idea surfaced in the book's foreword, where Harold Kushner writes, "Frankl's most enduring insight, one that I have called on often in my own life and in countless counseling situations: Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation" (x). The freedom to choose one's response to life's is a powerful resource.

Frankl articulated the second idea that I've been thinking about as he described struggling under the agony of constant work and not enough food. Then, Frankl imagined his wife. Picturing her he writes:

Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved. In a position of utter desolation, when man cannot express himself in positive action, when his only achievement may consist in enduring his sufferings in the right way--an honorable way--in such a position man can, through loving contemplation of the image he carries of his beloved, achieve fulfillment (37-38). 

What a rich and beautiful example of the power of faith: seeing the unseen reality and living as though it is true. This is really the heart of the Gospel. Seeing and believing the resurrected Christ thereby finding hope and meaning in the midst of life.

I am only halfway through the book but I am sure there will be many more insights to come.